Digital DeconstructionAttending the Funeral of a Virtual Friend
Edward Collier, writing for The Guardian:
Last Thursday I learned that my friend George had died after a short illness. My first thoughts were for his family; George was one of those men for whom the term “larger than life” might have been coined, and his absence would be deeply felt. And then there was the funeral – assuming it was not a private, family affair – should I attend?
The question was moot because I’d never actually met George in the flesh. We had become friends through the wonder of the internet.
His death has made me wonder about the correct “form” for cyber grief. Is it like any other grief, expressible in the same way? But just as phone sex is not the same as sex-sex, so the question arises – is a virtual friendship the equal of a “real” one?
Much like the debate over the proper internet protocol for the beginning of one’s life, what to do when a virtual friend dies is equally puzzling.
I suspect most would handle the situation on a case by case basis with many factors playing into the decision: online relationship, proximity of the friend, ect.
I would probably not attend the funeral of a friend met online, due more to the social awkwardness of the situation than a desire not to pay my respects to a friend.
What would you do when a close virtual friend dies?
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