Is that 89 bags of cocaine in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
While patrolling his beat last week Corporal Christopher Eiserman pulled over Ray Woods, 23, of Philadelphia, for a broken tail light.
Eiserman discovered marijauna in the vehicle and arrested Woods, placing him in the cruiser when he noticed a large bulge in Woods’ crotch.
After arriving at the station, Eiserman conducted a search of Woods and found 89 bags of of cocaine and heroin strapped to the man’s penis. Then the story gets really weird.
“I tried to remove it. Unfortunately, and I don’t know if it was nervousness or not, but he started urinating all over.”
“In 14 years, I’ve seen it down their pants, in their a–, but I’ve never seen it tied to their penis. I couldn’t believe it. I guess they figure the police officers aren’t going to check down in that area.”
The officer doesn’t think Woods meant to wet his person, believing instead that the man was nervous and what followed was the product of the realization that he had been caught.
Whatever the reason for Woods’ messing himself, the peeing pusher will have plenty of time to gain control of his bowel movements while in jail.